


Bonus Features and Bonus Tracks

by Hum My Name (My_Kind_of_Crazy)



Series: Until We Die Or Forever Ends [2]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - The Youngblood Chronicles, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, bonus features, extras, much more fluff than the actual plot, oneshots, thats for sure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-09-02 13:21:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8669248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Kind_of_Crazy/pseuds/Hum%20My%20Name
Summary: Bonus pieces of "Until We Die Or Forever Ends"





	1. Playlist

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are again with a few more additions :) I hope you all enjoy!

Playlist:

This is just a playlist I put together of all the songs that in some way inspired or relate to major plot points. I tried to put them in an order that would make sense with the chronology, as well as placed the lyrics that I feel best to represent the moment they'd be taking place in. Can you guess which song goes with which scene? That's probably too easy considering that these are pulled straight from certain chapters (though some were definitely shifted around). Here's a better game: Can you guess from who's point of view (if any) each song is supposed to represent? Enjoy!

By the way, in a few days, I hope to get the oneshots up! Look forward to those!

  1. _How To Start A War_ by Simon Curtis
    1. “Words destroy us, bait and toy us/ I still love you, do you love me too?”
  2. _I Hate U_ by Simon Curtis
    1. “Don’t wanna be in love with you no more”
  3. _Kick Me_ by Sleeping With Sirens
    1. “Of all the sinners/ You’re first in line/ So go to Hell and tell the Devil/ I’m not that far behind”
  4. _World On Fire_ by Les Friction
    1. “Sent by forces beyond salvation/ There can be not one sensation”
  5. _Superstar_ by The Dead Famous
    1. “No one can save us now”
  6. _The Only One_ by James Blunt
    1. “They say all things heal with time/ But it’s untrue/ I will linger on every word/ I know it’s more than I deserve/ Chances are I’ll make it worse”
  7. _Sun On Sunday_ by James Blunt
    1. “And if I cut you, if I bruise you, then the scars are always mine/ Cause I love you so to lose you would be worse than if I died”
  8. _Always Hate Me_ by James Blunt
    1. “Looking back I guess I’m holding on to/ The good we had but I know that it’s wrong too”
  9. _So Cold_ by Ben Cocks
    1. “You caused my heart to bleed and/ You still owe me a reason/ Cause I can’t figure out why”
  10. _Save Me_ by Globus
    1. “Cause I’ve made mistakes/ That have hurt the ones that I love”
  11. _Where The Lonely Ones Roam_ by Digital Daggers
    1. “We’ve got everything to lose/ Yeah, I’m waiting on you”
  12. _Half-Truism_ by The Offspring
    1. “The cuts in my heart/ They show in your eyes”
  13. _Let It Burn_ by Red
    1. “Where were you when our hearts were bleeding/ Where were you? It all crashed down/ Never thought that you’d deceive me/ Where are you now?”
  14. _Nightmares_ by Chameleon Circuit
    1. “Somewhere all my darkest fears are gathering/ It’s not enough to save the day/ I can’t escape my nightmares”
  15. _Breaking_ by Anberlin
    1. “Who do you want to forget?/ Who forgot you long ago?”
  16. _Love Was Made To Break_ by Andy Black
    1. “We’re strangers now but I don’t believe that/ Love was made to break”
  17. _How Do You Love Someone_ by Ashley Tisdale
    1. “How do you love someone/ And make it last / How do you love someone/ Without tripping on the past”
  18. _One In A Million_ by Breathe Electric
    1. “I know you swore you’d love no more/ But you and me is something we can never ignore”
  19. _Your Man_ by Five For Fighting
    1. “I don’t wanna love you any more than the best I can”
  20. _Heaven Knows_ by Five For Fighting
    1. “Hold me like we’re going home/ Turn your tears to rain/ Bury me beautiful/ Heaven knows how I loved you”
  21. _Rhythm Of My Heart_ by Blake Lewis
    1. “Two broken hearts that beat as one/ Then this is heaven, babe”
  22. _Determinate_ from Lemonade Mouth
    1. “Trying hard to fight these tears/ I’m crazy worried/ Messing with my head this fear/ I’m so sorry/ You know you gotta get it out/ I can’t take it/ That’s what being friends about”
  23. _Angel With A Shotgun_ by The Cab
    1. “They say before you start a war/ You better know what you’re fighting for/ Well, baby, you are all that I adore/ If love is all you need, a soldier I will be”
  24. _Hero_ by Charlotte Perrelli
    1. “This is a story of love and compassion/ Only heroes can tell”
  25. _Thank The Watchmaker_ by And Then There Were None
    1. “If both our lives pulled us apart and we were stuck on both coasts/ I would still find you/ Every night you would fall asleep/ And I would meet you in your dreams/ Three thousand miles away/ It’s not perfection/ But we’ve come so far/ Tell me now, tell me you believe again”
  26. _End Of Innocence_ by Kamelot
    1. “I pour myself onto this page/ I am writing a swan song for ages/ I will leave it behind/ And just maybe you will/ Remember me”



  



	2. Poem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! So, I was going through my old poem book (yeah. something I actually happen to have) and found this piece that actually inspired the phrase "until forever ends". It didn't have anything to do with the story at first but, upon closer inspection, it actually could have been written for the fic. So here! Enjoy!

 

Silenced before we speak

Deaf before we hear

Blindfolded before we see

Take our feelings when the world comes near

Keep me close; I'll keep you safe

But will you be here when I wake?

Mute tears and invisible screams

The battles we fight they'll never see

Say you'll stay, you'll stay with me

Because forever's not that long

These moments I must learn to treasure

Tomorrow they'll be gone

~

Tomorrow's not far away

Leaves me yearning for yesterday

Breathing deep to watch time pass

Hold my breath just to make it last

Sell my soul it costs a wish

But my heart is worth one kiss

To buy your love would be a fortune to pay

And I've got enough for just one day

Feel my pulse beneath your lips

It skips and then it stops

Your hand on mine, my fingers tremble

Your smile is the cause

~

Screaming just to hear my voice

Bleeding just to feel some pain

Pretending we still have a choice

Pretending you still know my name

Lovers leave it's nothing new

But it's something else when it's you

Broken hearts seem so real

It's true love that leaves us nothing to feel

Forever ended long ago and still we've yet to start

Fall for me, I dare to you

The worst I do is scar

~

Cross my heart and hope to die

Sew my lips and shut my eyes

Break my soul and steal my words

These things I am, darling, they're all yours

If I hold you, will it last?

And, if we kiss, can we make it fast?

Drown me in your broken heart

But let me go and I'll fall apart

I'm a dream, I'll fade away

But, you, you're just a song

These words will be your heartbeat and my

Voice will make it stop

~

These moments I must learn to treasure

Take my heart; Let's steal forever

Tomorrow we'll be gone

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The oneshots are coming soon! I have at least four planned, if I'm remembering correctly. Believe it or not, but my life has been even more hectic now that I'm on break. But that break is almost over so hopefully I could post more :)


	3. Bonus Track 1: "I Dreamt About Our Afterlife (But I Never Really Believed Till Now)"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two More Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm posting this before going to a meeting with my "academic advisor" so I apologize for any and all errors that I missed in my hasty read through.
> 
> Also! I noticed that the tumblr I directed you to is really cluttered and...yeah. So I made a side blog just for writing so if you wanna send in prompts or asks, head over to hum-my-name.tumblr.com There are currently no posts so help me out with that by sending stuff in!
> 
> Without further ado, here's the sappiness (I hope) that you all wanted :)

It’s nearing midnight and Patrick’s drifting in the winds promising to take him to safer sleep and better dreams. He’d been having the same nightmares for about a month or so now- scenes of blood and gore and tears and shame- but tonight feels different. Tonight feels special.

He’s in bed, sheets pulled up to his chin and dozens of pillows packed around him, placing a nice pressure over his body. He’d never liked feeling so tucked in before- hated the feeling of such confinement and constriction- but, recently, he’s taken a liking to the security the right amount of pillows can bring. He’d be more ashamed if Joe hadn’t slowly explained to him the different coping mechanisms to “trauma”.

Coping. Patrick doesn’t like to think of himself as coping. Coping means that he’s just barely getting by. Surviving. Managing. Carrying on in spite of all the problems that linger in the back of his mind. Call him a cliche but Patrick doesn’t want to just barely survive. He wants to live.

_ But I feel as if a piece of me has died _

It’s hard to survive when you’re missing a piece of your forever, though.

And this is the part where the dreams take on that dark shade, when his hopeful thoughts grow bittersweet. Because he remembers moments where he may think Pete loves him. But those moments are never as vivid as the memories of when Pete hated him.

It’s midnight now; Patrick imagines he can hear the clock click twelve. Really, it’s just the incessant ringing of his phone.

Patrick sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he flicks on the lamp beside his bed. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t question the random call in the middle of the night; he doesn’t even know why he’s awake. Any other evening, he would toss his phone across the room and grumble to himself about inconsiderate night owls or curse himself for leaving his phone on at all.

Though. He did feel as if this night was going to be different.

Patrick’s not stupid enough to answer the phone without looking at the caller ID- the recent events have put him on more edge than he’s ever been in his life. Blinking blearily down at the screen, Patrick tries to put the blurry letters together.

_ PETE _

And Patrick’s suddenly wide awake.

“Pete?” Patrick asks, answering the phone instantly. Sleep still wraps around his throat, making his voice thick and cracking the word into two syllables. At least, he hopes it’s just the exhaustion that does that. “Pete…What- Are you- We need to-”

Patrick can’t decide which question to ask. He doesn’t know which of his thoughts hold more importance. 

He loves me; he loves me not. This slides to the front of his mind and Patrick’s not sure he wants to hear the answer.

“Hey, ok, so listen-” And Pete’s on a roll just like the olden days, years ago in the back of a musty van. His world spins at a speed that Patrick can only hope to comprehend. He pushes aside his questions and grasps for a piece of Pete’s spiel that will drag him along for the ride. “Alright. This break’s been, like, three years long…two years long…Three years long?”  

“Three and a half,” Patrick jumps in, desperate to understand where Pete’s going with this. It doesn’t matter because now he’s grabbed hold of the conversation, just like he wanted, and Pete’s not slowing down.

“We gotta fucking come back, man,” Pete declares. There’s a tremor in his voice, a subtle slip of suspense, and Patrick wonders if he’s not the only one caught up in this head-spinning ride. “We gotta come back strong.”

Patrick wants to relate to the strand of desperation in Pete’s tone but he can’t get past the missing memories in his mind. Pete’s topic of choice right now seems like nothing more than a diversion. A half-hearted distraction.

“Pete, I don’t understand,” Patrick whines, running his hand through his hair. It feels strange now that it’s been cut again- this time into a style that could almost be called a fringe. A few bangs fall in front of his eyes and he focuses on the red shade. He signs in calm relief. Red. Red, not yellow. The last time he’d seen his hair- bleached blonde and nearly glowing- he’d found himself bent over the sink in record time, gagging out nothing but bile. He can’t see that shade anywhere near him again. In fact, he doesn’t imagine he’ll ever be able to see it again at all. “I need to ask you about-”

Pete cuts him off, voice vibrating with something other than excitement. Worry? Fear? Concern? Patrick refuses to take his pick.

“We gotta make this shit legit,” Pete rambles. Patrick can just imagine him pacing his room, phone pressed to his ear as he tries to move his mouth quick enough for his thoughts to get through. “It’s gonna be fucking dope.”

It’s late. It’s midnight. Patrick’s getting tired and he waits irritably for a good place to cut in.

“We’re gonna make a fucking record that sails the skies,” Pete says and Patrick rolls his eyes fondly. As annoyed as he is, he can’t help but tune into Pete’s strangely optimistic tone. 

But then something else jumps into his words, something scared and frightened and lost. It tugs at Patrick’s heart. It makes him want to cry because something’s hurting Pete and he doesn’t know what. 

It almost distracts him from the questions still bouncing around inside his mind.

“We’re gonna call this record-”

“Pete!” Patrick screams, mainly because he can’t take a second more of the worried wavering in Pete’s words. He takes a breath and tries to sound as annoyed as he felt mere moments ago. He can’t let Pete know that he was afraid. Not until he has his answers- and there’s only one way to get those. “Pete. I want to know what I’m missing. I want to know why…why I feel things I shouldn’t be. I want to know why I feel like you might love me when I know that…I know you said you didn’t.”

It all rushes out at once, one breath expelling dozens of doubts into the air. Patrick sucks in a sudden gasp at the realization of what he’s just said, as if that inhale can force all his words back down his throat.

Pete’s silent for too long and Patrick wants nothing more than to curl up and die. Any second now, Pete’s going to laugh. He’s going to mock him and repeat those awful words he told that interviewer so long ago. He’s going to answer him and Patrick feels tears prick at his eyes as he realizes that he never really wanted to hear the true answer. He just wanted to hear the answer he liked best.

_ We said until we die or forever ends, right, Trick? I will love you even when forever ends _

Their the same words that haunt his nightmares, twisted each night just a bit. He likes to think they’re part of the missing memories, that Pete will love him  _ even  _ when forever ends. He likes to imagine that all expiration dates on their love are gone, replaced with promises to love each other past them.

But each second that Pete prolongs the silence, each moment that he refuses to answer, is another thought against Patrick’s hopes.

_ Do you really believe I’d ever let myself fall in love with someone like you? _

It sounds a hell of a lot more likely than anything else.

Pete takes a breath. Patrick freezes.

This is it.

The moment of truth.

“Save Rock And Roll.”

And

Oh.

<><><> <><><> <><><>

That was two weeks ago. 

It hadn’t happened in the way that Patrick would have expected it to, if he were watching a film or reading a book. He didn’t have a sudden revelation or mind-splitting headache as thousands of memories flooded back to him. He didn’t scream in confusion or cry out in anger. There were no walls being torn down or buildings being built up in his mind. Those memories….

They just

Simply

Appeared.

When Pete asked him about it later in the phone call, between their sobbing gasps and streaming tears, Patrick could only explain it as putting on his glasses and getting some sense knocked into him. All the memories were there, swimming in his subconscious and drifting in his dreams, he just couldn’t see them. But, oh, could he feel them. He could feel their pull towards Pete and hear their words whispering in his mind…Pete said the magic phrase and everything became clear. Everything became right.

Now, Patrick sits in his living room, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he waits for Pete to arrive. Of course, it would have been more dramatic if Pete could have just arrived the second Patrick told him to but real life has a way of slowing things down, drawing them out. Pete had withdrawn to his house in LA when they returned from their adventures; Patrick had become a recluse in Chicago. It was nearing the end of Autumn and the winter holidays were approaching, filling up airports and airplane tickets. Pete had booked the closest date he could find. He’d laughed over the phone. He’d told Patrick to wait two more weeks.

Patrick hadn’t missed the joke and his laughter was more than a bit relieved when no triggers went off in his brain.

_ Knock Knock Knock _

_ Ding-Dong _

“Coming!” Patrick shouts, rushing to his feet. “Just a second!”

He doesn’t need to ask who it is. It’s been two weeks.

Patrick pauses just as his hand wraps around the door handle, just as his fingers find the lock.

It’s been two weeks. And Patrick still hasn’t planned one thing to say. 

He has the basics down in his head somewhere, a clear requirement to tell Pete that he loves him. That he misses him. That he needs him. But it’s not enough. It’s not even close.

What do you say to someone who once broke your heart but still found a way to win it back? What do you say to the person that saved you from yourself with nothing more than a few scrawled out words? What do you do for the person that took a bullet for you? What is enough for the person that saw you for a monster but decided to love you anyway?

_ I love you _ will never be enough but, Patrick supposes as he twists the handle, it will have to do for now.

He opens the door and the relentless Chicago wind pours inside, chilling Patrick to the bone. The cold lasts only an instant, though, before he’s greeted with the eternal warmth of Pete’s wide brown eyes.

A moment passes. It feels like more.

“Trick,” Pete says finally, stepping inside without needing an invitation. “Trick, you’re here.”

Patrick’s mouth is dry as he takes in Pete’s image- dark hair tangled in all directions and pink lips chapped from the wind. Pete’s mouth twitches up at the corners and Patrick takes a deep breath Even after that call, even after his memories were returned and he knew there was no reason left to worry, he’d never imagined that this could ever actually happen. That, maybe, he could find the happy ending he’d fantasized of for years.

“Of course I’m here, I live here,” Patrick says, stepping back as the door slams shut. He doesn’t have the focus to jump at the sudden sound, too captivated by the fact that this isn’t a dream. It’s real, this is real. Pete’s here, standing before him with an almost smile on his face, and  _ this is real _ . “But…You came...I- I didn’t really…I don’t know, I didn’t know I was worried that you wouldn’t until I saw you. Oh my god, Pete,  _ you’re  _ here.”

Patrick’s breaths come an instant too quick but he can’t find it in him to care. Pete steps closer until their breaths are mingling between them. His eyes remain on Patrick’s, never leaving, as he peels off the thick gloves he’d been wearing. Patrick drops his gaze to watch the action. Pete struggles with the winter gloves and they cling to his fingers like a vice. Patrick shuts his eyes.

“Of course,” Pete says finally, mimicking Patrick’s words. Patrick opens his eyes at the feeling of cool fingers brushing against his cheek. Pete’s gloves rest forgotten at their feet but Patrick can’t gaze at them for too long. Pete cups Patrick’s face in his hands, his soft voice capturing all of Patrick’s attention. “Of course I’m here. I love you too much to be anywhere else.”

One second passes. Two hearts begin to race. 

Patrick leans forward a fraction and Pete’s thumb brushes over his lips. A chill that has nothing to do with the cold runs down his spine.

“I was so scared,” Patrick breathes, moving until they’re centimeters apart. “I thought I was going crazy.”

Everything is slow motion. Pete furrows his eyebrows together and Patrick can see the instant he understands, the moment he realizes what Patrick’s talking about. Pete shuts his eyes and leans until their foreheads are pressed together.

“It killed me, Trick. Taking away your memories hurt worse than I ever dreamed it would. I had just gotten you back but then-” Pete’s barely whispering as he takes gasping breaths. It sounds like he’s choking and Patrick wants to make it stop but he can’t find the words. Pete opens his eyes. Brown finds blue. “It hurt me. I can’t imagine what it did to you.”

Patrick’s hands fist in Pete’s jacket- thick and woolen in preparation for the Chicago cold. He drops his eyes, his voice wavering on the line between desperate and unsure. “Just don’t leave me again, Pete. Promise you won’t leave me.”

There’s too much sorrow in his tone but, for Pete, it works like a trigger in the best kind of way.

Pete leans forward, removing all semblance of separation. Their lips brush for just a second but it’s enough to send Patrick stumbling back and to have Pete follow. It’s enough to cause pink cheeks and sudden gasps with Patrick’s back pressed against the wall, Pete’s hands tangled in his hair.

“Baby, I made that promise the day I met you. And I’m so sorry for breaking it so many times.” Pete’s eyes are wide and the distance between them is nearly nonexistent. Patrick’s breathing heavy, hands still clinging onto the fabric of Pete’s clothes. “Please forgive me.”

It’s Patrick’s turn to lift his lips in a teasing smile, to lean forward until his breath is brushing Pete’s ear. His arms wrap around him, embracing him and pushing all the shattered pieces back together.

“You saved my life in more ways than one. You protected me from the monster the cult wanted and you literally took a bullet for me. We were both young and stupid before the band broke up and we have no one to blame but ourselves. I’m not saying that there won’t be stumbles along the way but- for now- just stay by my side. As long as we’re together, there’s nothing to forgive.”

Pete trembles, taking his time to respond. For once, Patrick’s not afraid that he’s said the wrong thing.

Patrick counts twenty-eight heartbeats between them- pressed chest to chest with nothing but soft breaths to fill the air- before Pete reacts. He raises shaking arms and wraps them around Patrick, pulling him close as if he wants them to become one. Patrick laughs. 

_ Oh, Pete _ , Patrick thinks,  _ you’re already a greater piece of me than you’ll ever know _

“Let’s start again,” Pete whispers, hiding his face in Patrick’s neck. “Let’s start now.”

He doesn’t clarify what they’re starting; there are too many things they’ve left behind. Their music, their friendships, their feelings from so long ago. Patrick chuckles.

“I thought you came here for us to make an album?” Patrick teases. Pete sighs, a content sound.

“We don’t have to start that now. We have all the time in the world for that. We have…We have until forever ends, Trick,” Pete says. Patrick shakes his head and Pete pulls away at the action, confusion in his eyes.

“That’s not very long,” Patrick says, a wide smile beginning to light up his face. “I think…I think we have until we die. C’mon, Pete. Don’t you know we’re gonna live forever?”

Patrick grins at the manic smile that his words bring the dark-haired man before him. Pete laughs, the warmest sound Patrick’s ever heard, and leans forward with nothing less than pure adoration in his eyes.

Patrick’s still smiling when Pete’s lips cover his own and, for the first time in a long time, he knows they’re gonna be alright.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I'm pretty sure that this is the closest I will ever get to writing anything like fluff. Like. That's my kryptonite. I cannot, for the life of me, write proper fluff.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! It was really fun to write and I hope it lived up to your expectations!
> 
> Reminder to come talk to me on hum-my-name on tumblr :) See you there!


	4. You'll Be My Best Kept Secret (And This Will Be Our Biggest Mistake)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Pete had gotten pissed at Patrick for seemingly no reason...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choose your intro: Indecisive Author Edition
> 
> 1\. IT'S BEEN SO LONG I'M SO SORRY AND...  
> 2\. Guess who's back, back, back....  
> 3\. Surprise, bitch....
> 
> Ok, now that that's out of the way....HELLO! It has been a while and I do apologize for that but I have good reason, I swear! I'll elaborate on that further later. Anyway, this isn't abandoned, no, and hopefully it wasn't forgotten? Like, maybe seeing this updated made someone smile? Idk, pal, I'm tired and just typing things.
> 
> So, I wrote, like, three one-shots just now because none of them seemed good enough to be a Sudden Return Update but, after a really long internal debate (oh my god so long), I picked this one. It was actually one of the first prompts for a one-shot in this AU. Someone had messaged me on Tumblr about Pete's implied behaviors in his and Patrick's relationship before the hiatus, namely why he didn't want anyone to know about them and also why he had started the fight with Patrick in the first place. Somehow that escalated into me promising them a one-shot that is far overdue. So! Here ya go!
> 
> I'm not quite sure how I feel about it but I'll leave that up to you to decide whether it's good or not. Enjoy!

**You’ll Be My Best Kept Secret (And This Will Be Our Biggest Mistake)**

 

There are a handful of things that Pete finds he can blame his sudden loss of composure on.

Maybe it’s just the amount of alcohol he had had that night— more than was necessary to celebrate just another show.

Maybe it’s the way it takes him forever to find his way back to Patrick— skin tingling and lips itching just from the thought of dragging him outside to cover him with kisses.

Maybe it’s the way it looks like Patrick isn’t too concerned with how long Pete has been gone— the singer smiling widely as he orders yet another drink from the bartender, who rolled her eyes but winked and got it for him all the same.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s the way someone new is sitting in the place Pete had been before leaving. Someone unknown and handsome and too close to Patrick for Pete’s comfort. 

Pete stumbles to the side, blinking to make sure he's seeing everything correctly. He had only left for the bathroom a few minutes ago, right? How long has Patrick been allowing that….that  _ creep _ to sit in Pete’s spot, one hand on Patrick’s shoulder and another gesturing for the bartender to bring them another round?

Someone laughs, high-pitched and breathy, and Pete turns to see a pretty dark-haired girl leaning against the wall. The flashing lights of the venue make it hard for him to see her face but he catches a glint of interest in her eyes, something that implies the laugh was meant for him to hear.

Maybe that’s just the alcohol, too.

He lifts an eyebrow; she nods towards the pair he’d been staring at.

“I think your singer’s trying to steal my boyfriend.”

She says it like it’s a joke and Pete tries to laugh like it is. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Patrick’s not—”

“Oh, I’m not worried,” the girl says, walking closer. “We have an open relationship. Was a hassle to set up at first but we’ve gotten more than used to it. It’s kind of hot to watch him work his magic on these guys. He likes the shy ones….They get all flustered.”

As if on cue, Patrick laughs, loud and drunk, and Pete turns to stare at the scene. The girl’s boyfriend leans in too close to Patrick, enough so that Patrick’s nose is wrinkled from what must be beer-tainted breath. He’s leaning away and his eyes scan the room but that doesn’t matter to Pete. What matters is that he hasn’t shoved the jerk away yet; he hasn’t stopped smiling that adorable dopey smile of his.

Pete’s hands form fists and he reels to the side as if jealousy had physically struck him. Who knows? Maybe it has.

The girl’s still talking, wondering aloud if Patrick’s taken or if this will be another easy one. Distantly, Pete hears himself spit out that “Patrick’s not fucking easy, okay?”

“Woah, okay.” The girl holds her hands up apologetically, though her eyes are anything but sorry. “Clearly, there’s been a misunderstanding. We’d never infringe on someone else’s relationship….Is there something between you two?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I—” 

Pete cuts himself off. Even drunken and burning hot with possessiveness, he can’t bring himself to say it.

He knows that Patrick would call his silence shame and embarrassment, ducking his head and hiding his face every time someone new would come up to Pete and ask if he had a “special someone”. Patrick would never say it out loud, though, and would never call attention to them like that. But Pete would still see it, still hear it every time Patrick laughed and excused himself to the bus, his eyes shining and his cheerful voice a bit too forced to believe. They’d talk about it later, Pete hovering over Patrick as he kissed away every insecurity he has over this part of their relationship, the public part. He’d plead with Patrick to just understand, to see how the media sees him and what this would do to that. And, every time, Patrick would just whisper his love for Pete over and over, as if waiting for a moment that Pete would refuse to say it back.

But it’s not shame or anything like. Pete could never be embarrassed by the way he catches Patrick looking at him sometimes, the faintest smile on his perfect lips late at night as they’re talking about everything and nothing all at once. 

He can’t tell Patrick why it can’t be public, though, because he knows how Patrick would react. He knows the way that Patrick would argue with him about it at every chance, the way his compliance with the secrecy would become shrewd anger and misunderstanding. Sure, Pete’s tried. He’d fit the words on his tongue every time Patrick’s asked, shaped them behind his teeth and practiced them in his every breath.

_ You know how the media sees me, Trick. Don’t tell me you don’t understand what would happen if they found out. They’d shine a light on it at every chance. Dissect everything we say and do until it’s not me they’re lashing out at. I can take the insults and the barbs and the hate.  _

_ But I could never drag you into that with me, Trick. I promised to give you something to hide behind and, this time, you need more than a hand-me-down hat. _

Patrick’s always said he doesn’t want Pete to go through anything alone but this— the media vultures and people who think hating them is a harmless fad— is the one thing Pete won’t budge on. If Patrick ever bore even a fraction of what Pete’s become used to….If anyone ever found a new way to hurt the bassist….found something new to laugh at….

“I’m just trying to make sure he doesn’t get hit with the unexpected, you know?” Pete says, his accompanying laugh sounding slightly hysterical. “He’s, uh, he’s big on that kind of stuff….monogamy and, uh, loyalty?”

Pete’s certain he insulted her somewhere in there by the way her eye’s narrow.

“Aren’t there rumors that he’s dating….someone? I can’t quite remember who but, either way, he doesn’t seem so big on loyalty right now.” She nods towards the bar but Pete doesn’t turn around, afraid that the scene might have escalated.

“You’d do well not to believe rumors,” Pete snaps. “They’ve never done anyone any good.”

“Well, I suppose you would know that.” The girl brushes her hair out of her face, rolling her eyes. “Good luck with your singer, Pete. And keep an eye on him. He’s so….precious. Why, anyone could snatch him up at any time and you wouldn’t even know until it’s too late.”

Her words send chills down Pete’s spine as she walks past him. He tries not to think about how true they are. Isn’t that what he’s so afraid of? Patrick realizing the dangers of dating him and moving onto someone safer? Someone who can offer him the public affection he deserves and the security he needs? Pete’s a live-wire in a small space, cramped next to Patrick and forcing him to deal with each bump and bruise that he inflicts. His heart races at the thought. Again, he blames the alcohol.

He’s not sure when he makes the decision to march back to Patrick, the girl’s words playing over in his mind like a song. He doesn’t remember deciding to slam his hand on the bar between the man and Patrick. He certainly doesn’t remember deciding to yell.

“ —the hell are you doing, Patrick? I thought we were gonna head out soon.” 

Patrick’s eyebrows furrow together and his lips flicker between a smile and a frown, his drunken mind too confused to discern whether Pete’s serious or playing around.

“I was just having a few more drinks. Gus here liked the set and was asking about it.” He gestures to the man behind Pete, an apologetic and embarrassed look in his eye.

Why the hell does Patrick look apologetic? Did Pete interrupt something? His teeth grit together and he reaches for Patrick’s wrist.

“ _ Gus _ is sitting in my spot. You didn’t tell him that your— that I was gonna be back?” They’re both drunk and Patrick’s definitely starting to realize that Pete’s serious. All things considered, this was a horrible idea. Still, a piece of Pete’s mind argues, it got Patrick to stop talking to Gus.

“You said you  _ might  _ be back. Pete, what are you so…so fuckin’ angry about? You can join the conversation, look, there’s a chair over there, you can pull that over and—”

“No!” Pete whines like a petulant child. “This was my chair so Gus can pull up a new one or….or he can leave!”

“Pete!” Patrick snaps, sounding thoroughly uncomfortable. “You’re being rude!”

“ _ I’m _ being rude?” Pete can’t believe what he’s hearing. He steps back, giving himself enough space to point to a flustered and nervous Gus. “You’re the one flirting with some girl’s boyfriend. Gus’ girlfriend is laughing at you over….somewhere.”

“I’m not flirting with anyone!”

“And I don’t have a girlfriend,” Gus inserts, finally adding to the conversation. Pete turns to glare at him.

“Oh, sure. She told me all about your open relationship. What, you two planning on getting Patrick into some messed up threesome? He doesn’t go for that even when I suggest it and I’m his fucking boyf—”

“ _ Pete! _ ” Patrick’s more frantic than angry but there’s enough rage there to get Pete to shut up and listen to him. He looks over at the singer, taking in his flushed face and heavy breaths. He winces, considering just how much he’s fucked up this time. “Why the hell would you— I don’t even—  _ You’re  _ the one who doesn’t want me talking about shit like that and you’re really gonna bring it up? What the fuck? I keep your secrets, yeah, but only because I lo— because I  _ respect  _ you. Not so you can go blabber it to whoever you want.”

Gus is gone by the time Patrick’s finished his rant, his eyes staring at an empty space behind Pete as he tries to calm down. Pete takes a breath, mimicking Patrick’s pattern. Stop. Breathe. Count to three.

It doesn’t help in the way that Pete’s sure it’s supposed to.

“You were the one flirting,” he says, at last, too stubborn to leave his position on that. It doesn’t matter that Gus has left or that he, supposedly, doesn’t have a girlfriend. He falls into the seat Gus had been in, staring helplessly at his boyfriend. “I was…I was jealous.”

“I wasn’t—” Patrick stops to sigh, clearly finding it useless to try to change Pete’s mind. He cradles his head in his hands and takes a few more moments to clear his head. Pete’s stomach twists and turns with each passing second, wondering if this will be what sets Patrick off, what ruins their relationship. He’s on the verge of apologizing when Patrick looks up at him with his eyes just a bit less angry than before. “Whatever, it’s fine. I don’t like the jealousy but….I can understand it. More than you probably realize. But you need to work on not lashing out like this, Pete. It’s….It’s embarrassing and hurtful.”

Pete just nods. How is that Patrick’s the younger one but Pete’s always the one getting scolded?

“We can talk more about this tomorrow when we’re both sober. But I’m gonna have a few more drinks and clear my head. I’ll meet you on the bus, okay?” Patrick asks. Pete nods again, kicking his feet before standing and heading away. 

If they were open about dating, Pete thinks, he could have kissed Patrick before leaving to let him know that he’s not as angry as he was a few minutes earlier. He could have felt safe in the knowledge that everyone would know that Patrick’s his and not someone that can so easily be taken away.

He looks back one last time, catching sight of Patrick pulling out his phone. Probably checking the time and factoring how many drinks he can have before heading back. Someone steals the seat beside him, a blonde girl with the most chilling smile. She orders a drink and taps her nails on the bar as she waits. She looks over at Patrick; she grins. Pete looks away before any more irrational jealousy has a chance to explode inside him.

Maybe Pete will finally work up the courage to tell Patrick about all his fears of a public relationship tomorrow— about how all of it is for Patrick himself.

Maybe Patrick will understand and they’ll work out a compromise— tell their friends and families first and leave out all the rest.

Maybe everything will be alright; maybe they can make it through this without a scratch.

Maybe he’ll never have to worry about Patrick being snatched up before Pete has the chance to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short. It's not even quite a plot. But...I mean....hopefully it's interesting?
> 
> Look, if this one sucks as much as I feel it might have, fear not. I actually have quite a few more planned that I've been working on and will have the chance to clean up and present fully polished. I just wanted to get this out here before the "last updated" detail got to the point of "yeah, it's never getting updated".
> 
> If you want to send in ideas or prompts based off the Until We Die AU, I would absolutely love that. I have a writing tumblr for this called hum-my-name so slide on over there with literally anything to do with this fanfic or any other I have. If you just want to casually message, my other tumblr is now-press-rewind. 
> 
> So. Yeah. Hope you enjoyed this tiny, tiny update and will be around for some more (timely posted and much better quality) updates soon :)


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